Lately I’ve been trying to figure out how to get my husband to talk to me more. Not just the day-to-day stuff, but deeper thoughts. We’ve been in this relationship 30 years and it’s important to me that we stay connected. Creating a space in which to talk seemed like a good start.
Years ago at a women’s conference, I heard columnist/writer, Jennifer James speak. She talked about her son going away to college and how she was already missing him before he was actually gone. So she made the decision to just be available to him. Every time he walked into the room, she just sat down. It was casual – not at all obvious, but it created a magnet for potential chatter. He got use to her being available, because after all, she was always just sitting around when he was there and he started spending more time talking to her. She said his last year at home was their best year.
So I’ve started doing this with my husband. It seems to work best in the morning. I get a cup of coffee, feed the dogs and then I just sort of hang out at the kitchen table. Every time he comes into the room, I just smile and act interested in whatever he has to say. He’s talking more and I’m listening.